Tuesday 30 September 2014

[HM:257495] Sweeping Statements - Annoying, Irritating and Insulting




by Junaid.Tahir

Sweeping statement is the term used when you give conclusive or decisive comment about  something or someone. You may not know but you give sweeping statements several times a day and if you don't mind let me say that most of the time you are wrong :)

You might have said to your colleagues that this manager has no sense of management whereas if someone asks you to give a ten minutes non-stop lecture on management, you may not be able to deliver it because you too may not have real in depth knowledge of the domain. So, instead of saying "no sense of management" you could more precisely say that you don't agree to "this particular aspect of management" of that person and then elaborate your observations. The later approach in this example is not a sweeping statement instead it is a specific focal point of your point of view.

Some other examples of sweeping (sometimes insulting) statements:
1- A man argues with his house wife "what exactly you do at home all day long?"  (in Urdu, tum sara din kerti kia ho aakhir?)
2- This whole nation or country is arrogant/corrupt. 
3- Mom to her child "you never do good work" (Urdu: Tum nay to kabhi koee acha kaam kia hi nahi")
4- when you say to your colleague, "you have no idea about it, so leave it to me"

If you are in habit of giving sweeping statements, you may, at some point in time spoil your relationship with someone permanently especially when you give sweeping statement to the person face to face by annoying and irritating severely. Because when you give sweeping statement you are missing a whole lot of detailed aspects of the subject and may emotionally kill the person.

Also when you give sweeping statement it's not about them only, it's about you as well because it indicates the fact that you are not careful in your thinking. Which means you have a zoom-out attitude when it comes to observing people whereas zoom-in (high level) and zoom-out (detailed micro level) approaches are required to be used according to the situation.

So the bottom line is that instead of being judgmental and passing the remarks instantly one must strive to understand things fairly prior to giving remarks and then use appropriate words and an effective way of communication to describe ones stance in order to improve the situation, not to harm it by any mean.

Some associated articles:

in , , - on 4/06/2013 10:21:00 PM - No comments

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[HM:257494] Touch-Point Concept for Encouragement

20130715_4
by Douglas R. Conant  |   12:00 PM July 12.

Even a brief interaction can change the way people think about themselves, their leaders, and the future. Each of those many connections you make has the potential to become a high point or a low point in someone’s day. Each is a chance to transform an ordinary moment into a touch-point.

What is a touchpoint? A touchpoint is an interaction with one other person, a couple of people, or a group that can last a couple of minutes, a couple of hours, or a couple of days. Those Touch-points can be planned or spontaneous, casual or carefully choreographed.

Every touch-point is spring-loaded with possibilities. Each one can build — or break — a relationship.

For instance, when I was a first year graduate student at the J. L. Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University taking a Management Policy class. My professor, Raim Charan, noticed that my schoolwork was starting to slip. I was not only taking a full load of classes but I was also working two jobs. I was stretched pretty thin. One day, Raim called me aside and said, “You can do better.” Those four words inspired me to hold myself to a higher standard. I remember those words as if they were spoken yesterday and that was over 35 years ago.

Shortly after I graduated, I accepted a job with General Mills. Like many people starting a new job in a new place, I was completely lost in the building. This older man saw me stumbling around and said, “Young man… you look lost. How can I help?” I asked him if he could help me find my way back to the marketing department. He pointed the way and said, “So you work in the marketing department. If there is one thing that I want to leave you with is that you’ve got to give it all you’ve got.” We then went our separate ways. Ultimately, I saw this man’s picture a couple of weeks later and discovered that he was Jim McFarland, the CEO and Chairman of General Mills. Those five words inspired me to lean into my work with greater intensity. I carry them with me today.

I had been with General Mills for six months and I was up for my first performance review. I was struggling to hit the ground running. I had never worked in an office environment before in my life. Here I was, unmistakably a rookie. During the performance review, my manager offered this observation, “Doug, you are clearly very determined to contribute here but, quite frankly, your work is very mediocre.” That comment, in and of itself, was something I was able work through. Next, I was to receive feedback from my boss’s boss. In this case, he had written six words down on a piece of paper to be read to me. Those words were, “You should look for another job.” This was the first performance review I had received in my life and my boss’s boss, whom I thought was a god, just told me to go look for another job. He wasn’t inclined to give me the time of the day or the benefit of the doubt. I was devastated and very anxious but ultimately I played through it. Those six words reminded me that the corporate journey is not for the faint of heart. You must bring great resolve to your work. It’s not all a bed of roses.

I persevered through some difficult times as I was starting up my career and I was promoted to Product Manager at General Mills in a very timely way. Within 48 hours of that promotion, I received a call from my wife’s grandfather, Mr. R. T. Johnstone. R.T., a man I admired greatly, said, “I’m so proud of you.” Those five words of encouragement reminded me that I was not alone on this journey, as difficult as it was. My family was, is and will always be with me. Those words ring in my ears to this day.

After six years of working in the General Mills food group, I transferred over to the General Mills toy group. Three years in, I lost my job. I’ve shared this experience in great detail here before. After I was let go from General Mills, I went to an outplacement counselor; a man by the name of Neil MacKenna. Every time Neil would answer the phone he would say, “Hello, this is Neil MacKenna, how can I help?” With those four words, “How can I help?” Neil changed my entire work life. He helped me see beyond my own agenda to discover the fulfillment of starting every interaction with a desire to be helpful. This was a very powerful lesson, delivered in four words. It took all of two seconds.

On July 2, 2009, I was involved in a very serious automobile accident. I was traveling to my home in Northern New Jersey for the Fourth of July weekend. I was in the back of a Lincoln Navigator asleep with my seat belt on when, while going at least 70 miles an hour, we ran into the back of a stopped dump truck on the New Jersey Turnpike. It was a very serious accident. I was taken to a nearby trauma center and went through an extensive array of surgical procedures. Understandably, I was pretty much out of it for 24 hours. When I woke up in the intensive care unit my wife, Leigh, who had been helping my daughter move into her apartment in Washington D.C., was right by my side. And all she said were three words. She said, “I’m right here.” Those three words, said in one second, connected me in a powerfully indescribable way with my wife and my recovery. I’ll never forget the moment.

Over the following 40 days, as I was recovering from the automobile accident, I had been moved from the ICU to the trauma center then to a hospital and finally to a rehabilitation program. I dealt with nurses in all four of these facilities that, time and again, reaffirmed for me the power of touchpoints — that they’re not just about the words you say, they’re about how you say them.

There was the same protocol over all four facilities. In this case, every nurse would come into my room and ask me the same question: “How is your pain?” When the nurses were fully prepared and exceptionally gifted at managing patients they could come into the room and dial-in in a very thoughtful and genuine way. But with nurses who were new to the profession, new to the facility, or who just felt a little bit uncomfortable getting into a conversation, I would quickly realize that those four words weren’t about me; it was about how they were going to handle me. It was about them. Those conversations were always awkward.

So, those four words, “How is your pain?” opened up a world that was magical when it was well managed. But when not well managed, the resulting awkwardness could completely undermine the effectiveness of the nurse. Those four words reaffirmed the power of touchpoints.

There you have it:

  • Seven memorable touch-points
  • 32 words total
  • Less than five words per Touch-point
  • Strung together, it’s generously 20 seconds of conversation
  • That’s approximately four seconds per touch-point

Despite their brevity, those seven touch-points have had a profound impact on my life. I encourage each of you to look for opportunities to have a profound impact on the next touch-point you encounter. You have the opportunity to make a tremendous impact on the lives of the people with whom you work and live. Make the most of it. The next touch-point is right around the corner — use it wisely.

More blog posts by
80-doug-conant

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Monday 29 September 2014

[HM:257492] How to Handle Frequent Mood Swings


In a particular day, you may pass through several mood swings depending upon your circumstances. For instance you are sad, or happy, irritated, annoyed, stressful, depressed, cheerful or angry at different moments of time. As long as you are happy, everyone around you is fine with that however if you have a lot of mood swings in terms of being irritated, annoyed, sad, angry, reactive or stubborn it becomes a challenge for others to move along with you. Because of your swift mood swings your personality becomes unpredictable. The more unpredictable you become for others, the more likely you have the chance to lose your respect within your friends, family and colleagues.

So how to control these mood swings? Below are some points which you need to ponder on:
1-    Analyze yourself on what are the triggers which cause your mood swings? is this an event, or comment or act or presence of a person?  Fix the problem or start loving it. 
2-   Respect the fact that every single soul is a unique in terms of thinking and acting. You cannot order people to follow your way of thinking and living. Relax. Give respect to earn respect. It takes two hands to clap.
3-   Write down your triggers on a paper. You will notice that your problem is not that much big!
4-   Discuss your issue with the person and find out a solution. Be flexible. You may not be right in your demands or you may be completely wrong in your demands. Be honest, analytical and logical while you share your comments and desires.
5-   Observe others on how they react in different kind of circumstances. Find out a mentor in your life you can follow. Or even you can observe everyone because everyone has something to teach you. Closely observe. 
6-   Avoid taking stress. The more you take stress the more you lose control on your emotions and become unpredictable. Read my article on Stress by clicking here  and clicking here 
7-   Develop Trust in your relations so that people feel easy to get along with you.

What are your thoughts in controlling your mood swings? 

About Author: Junaid Tahir, a telecom engineer and a blogger, writes articles on wisdom, happiness and stress management. His articles can be read Here

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[HM:257492] TIP: Differentiate Between Sugar-Coated and Pure Human



By Junaid Tahir
While reading an article on blog the below lines caught my attention:
"Remember the next time you decide to give someone a chance whether it be for work or for friendship, go for the real thing and not the sugar-coated one"

These lines triggered some thoughts in my mind on what points to consider in differentiating between the genuine personality and sugar-coated human (the person who looks sweet from outside but having a grey or black heart). Below are my suggestions:

  1. One or two observations are not enough to conclude. Take some time.
  2. Instead of observing actions, check the habits. Sometimes actions may not portray the genuine inner personality; however habits can predict the character. Because habits trigger repetitive actions which transform into the overall personality. 
  3. Sometimes sugar coating is not done because of specific evil benefits instead may be it is because of ethical causes. Don't think negative about such person; appreciate instead.
  4. Look for ethical characteristics such as honesty, truthfulness, friendliness, down-to-earth.
  5. Instead of using your eyes, use brain. Think logical and think carefully in concluding about some

in , ,


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Sunday 28 September 2014

[HM:257491] Emotional Bank Account - A unique Concept for strong relationships



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When it comes to improving and maintaining our relationships with others, Stephen Covey's metaphor of the Emotional Bank Account is probably one of the most powerful ideas ever created for the development of interpersonal relationships. If you've never heard of this, it basically means that anyone with whom we have a relationship with, whether it be our coworkers, family or friends, we maintain a personal "emotional" bank account with them. This account begins on a neutral balance. And just as with any bank account, we can make deposits and withdrawals. However, instead of dealing with units of monetary value, we deal with emotional units.

The emotional units that Covey speaks of are centered around trust. When we make emotional deposits into someone's bank account, their fondness, trust, and confidence in us grows. And as a result our relationship develops and grows. If we can keep a positive reserve in our relationships, by making regular deposits, there will be greater tolerance for our mistakes and we'll enjoy open communication with that person. On the contrary, when we make withdrawals and our balance becomes low or even overdrawn, bitterness, mistrust and discord develops. If we are to salvage the relationship, we must make a conscious effort to make regular deposits.
This post will discuss Covey's six major ways of making deposits into these Emotional Bank Accounts and how we can avoid making withdrawals.
1. Understanding the Individual
In Covey's book, seven habits of highly effective people, one of the seven habits is "seek first to understand then to be understood". Truly understanding what others are feeling is not always that easy. We must remove ourselves from our egocentric viewpoint and put ourselves into the minds and shoes of others. I say minds and shoes because we must try to first understand the thought patterns and second walk in their shoes or empathize with them.
One of my major faults when communicating with others is, while they are talking I tend to think what I am going to say next. Truly understanding someone requires us to wholly and completely concentrate on what the other person is trying to say, not reloading, just waiting to fire off your response
2. Keeping Commitments
Certainly when we break our promises to others, we make major withdrawals from their Emotional Bank Accounts. However, keeping commitments is not just relegated to promises. It also includes things such as arriving to work and appointments on time, fulfilling our duties, and living up to every word that comes out of our mouth.
3. Clarifying Expectations
There is nothing more frustrating in a relationship than not understanding what is expected of you. Although many of us wish we could be, we are not mind readers. And because each of us sees life differently and has different backgrounds and life experiences, expecting someone to just "know" is not only unfair but completely unrealistic. It's important that the person with whom you are dealing with, knows exactly what is expected of them. Doing this will keep them out of the dark and allow them to relate you confidently, knowing that what they are doing is in line with your expectations.
4. Attending to the Little Things
Little courtesies, kind words and warm smiles are at the heart of the little things that brighten up a relationship. It shows recognition and an awareness of others. It's interesting, but within our relationships, if you want success, it's the little things that really become the big things.
5. Showing Personal Integrity
Nothing is probably more damaging to a relationship, then a lack of integrity. Being that the Emotional Bank Account is based upon trust, you could essentially be doing all of the previous things, but without trust, it is to no avail. Integrity means wholeness, completeness, or soundness. In this case soundness of moral character. Integrity is the rock-solid foundation upon which all successful relationships are built.
6. Apologizing Sincerely When We Make a Withdrawal
Granted, we are all mortal. We make mistakes. That's part of life and learning. Knowing when you are wrong and admitting your mistakes prevents the wounds that you've caused in others from festering and allows them to heal. When appropriate, sincere apology will keep your relationships accounts in the positive, allowing you to maintain the balance that has been created in your application of all of the previous steps

http://www.lifetrainingonline.com/blog/the-emotional-bank-account.htm

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[HM:257490] Principles of Management - Henri Fayol

Prin



from My Expressions by karthick 

Henri Fayol was born in 1841 in a suburb of Istanbul, Turkey. Fayol studied at the mining school in Saint-Étienne and joined a mining company in Commentry as an engineer. By 1888, he was a director of the mine which now employed over 1000 people. It became one of the largest producers of iron and steel in France. Fayol stayed there for 30 years until 1918 by which time he had written down his management experiences in a book called "Administration Industrielle et Générale", the book that would be his lasting legacy. This is an extraordinary little book that offers the first theory of general management and statement of management principles.

Fayol believed management theories could be developed, then taught. His theorising about administration was built on personal observation and experience of what worked well in terms of organisation. His aspiration for an "administrative science" sought a consistent set of principles that all organizations must apply in order to run properly.

Henri Fayol was one of the most influential contributors to modern concepts of management, having proposed that there are five primary functions of management: Planning, Organizing, Commanding, Coordinating and Controlling. Henri Fayol was the first to identify the four functions of management: planning, organizing, directing, and controlling, as known today. He then went on to explain that these functions should be carried out according to 14 principles of management, namely:

1. Specialization of labour. Specializing encourages continuous improvement in skills and the development of improvements in methods.
2. Authority. The right to give orders and the power to exact obedience.
3. Discipline. No slacking, bending of rules. The workers should be obedient and respectful of the organization.
4. Unity of commandEach employee has one and only one boss.
5. Unity of direction. A single mind generates a single plan and all play their part in that plan.
6. Subordination of Individual Interests. When at work, only work things should be pursued or thought about.
7. Remuneration. Employees receive fair payment for services, not what the company can get away with.
8. Centralization. Consolidation of management functions. Decisions are made from the top.
9. Chain of Superiors (line of authority). Formal chain of command running from top to bottom of the organization, like military
10. Order. All materials and personnel have a prescribed place, and they must remain there.
11. Equity. Equality of treatment (but not necessarily identical treatment)
12. Personnel Tenure. Limited turnover of personnel. Lifetime employment for good workers.
13. Initiative. Thinking out a plan and do what it takes to make it happen.
14. Esprit de corps. Harmony, cohesion among personnel. It's a great source of strength in the organisation. Fayol stated that for promoting esprit de corps, the principle of unity of command should be observed and the dangers of divide and rule and the abuse of written communication should be avoided.

Fayol has been described as the father of modern operational management theory. Fayol's ideas had a major effect on how management functions in most established organisations. In many ways, they are the bible of management and the source of the idea that "managers have the right to manage". Whether knowingly or not, anyone who manages, even today, is almost certainly managing in accordance with Fayol's ideas and principles

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[HM:257488] Leadership Vision - A Critical Personality Trait for True Leaders



The young boy asked the old man, "why a fast running horse is better than the slow running horse"? The old man said, "it has developed the habit to produce more power so that it can run up to ten times faster than the slow horse" The youngster said, "and what if the horse is running in the wrong direction"? The old man smiled and said, "then definitely it has the appropriate factor to waste his efforts ten times quicker than the slower horse" The young man said, " and what if other horses are following him too" The older man said, "off course it will mislead all those horses too!" "Then why all other horses follow the faster one" "Because that attracts them but all that glitters is not gold sometimes" Article written by Junaid.Tahir

Associating this analogy with our daily life, you notice that you are surrounded by mixture of slow and fast pace personalities. Some of them are really genuine leaders and some of them are being followed blindly. Overall, here is the summary of the concept of Visionary Leaders which I suggest you to ponder:


1-   If you have a slow attitude towards life (slow running horse) then you must develop the habit to produce more power in your character. You must be aware of your real goals. You must develop analytical skills, Empowered Relationships, Proactive approach and other personality traits such as Commitment, Courage, Communication Skills, Focus, Competence and Passion. 
2-  If you have a faster response to life and  quick decision making then you must audit yourself on whether you are heading in the right direction? Not having clear goal will take you nowhere regardless of your speed and efficiency. Remember, Only hard work doesn't guarantee the success. , the vision and strategy are the most important ingredients of the success which is acheived through consistent, productive and effective efforts in the right direction.
3-  Are you following a leader? Are you sure you have a true leader? Are you sure you will not end up on the blocked road? Remember, U-turns are always possible before the dead end but consequences of U-turn will be more harsh if you don't evaluate the situations on time and delay it to the eleventh hour.

While you ponder about the concept of Vision in Leaders, you may want to read these personality building articles too:

1-     Effective Decision Making
2-    Resolving Conflicts Effectively
3-    Developing Stable Personality
4-    Becoming Implosive Personality
5-    Effective Anger Management
6-    Being strong in Tragic Moments

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