Hyderabad Blues: October 2014

Friday, 31 October 2014

[HM:257541] The 8 "L's" of Parenting

in ListPost - on 12/05/2012 04:32:00 PM - No comments

By Leah Davies, M.Ed.

LOVE your child. For your child to be successful, he or she must feel valued. Your gentle touches, smiles and hugs communicate love. Giving your undivided attention, especially at the end of each day, demonstrates caring.

LOOK for the good in your child and make specific comments on what he or she does well. You must believe in your child's worth before he or she can believe it. If you want your child to have self-confidence and motivation, watch for positive behaviors and comment on them.

LISTEN, without judgment, to your child express his or her thoughts and feelings. If you do not listen, your child may attempt to gain your attention by misbehaving.

LAUGH with your child, not at him or her. Demonstrate a sense of humor as you cope with life's difficulties. Laugh and play together.

LABOR diligently and with pride so that your child will want to work hard, persevere and do his or her best.

LEARN new information. It is fine to say, I don't know, but then add that you both can find out together. Take the time to read and thus instill a love of learning. On car trips play word games, read or listen to books on tape.

LEAVE the television and other media off. Many programs and video games desensitize your child towards violence and contribute to fearfulness and aggression. Place computers in central locations to monitor internet use.

LIVE life to its fullest. Take pleasure in little things like an ice cream cone, a beautiful day or the enthusiasm of your child. Read, pretend, take walks, play games, have pleasant meals, share dreams, and enjoy each other.

Remember: Your child will most likely adopt the attitudes and habits you demonstrate daily. Used by permission of the author, Leah Davies, and selected from the Kelly Bear website [www.kellybear.com]. 7/04

Junaid Tahir
www.DailyTenMinutes.com

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[HM:257540] 5 Tips to Motivate Employees

While expecting employees to perform at a high level is definitely not an unreasonable expectation, it still is not always going to be the case in mostbusinesses. There are a number of cases where employees let up in their job performance a bit or other circumstances arise that make the level of productivity tail off some. During these and other times, often what is missing is proper motivation. Here are five tips designed to motivate employees to continue performing at the level they are expected to.
Positive Attitude
Employees who regularly work in a workplace that either has an overall negative attitude or for a manager that has a negative attitude will at some point let it affect their job performance. A manager canmotivate the employeesbeneath them very efficiently by simply instituting a positive attitude in the workplace and also exhibiting that positive attitude regularly. Employees naturally want to work in a workplace with a positive attitude.

Encouragement
In the same department as positive attitude, getting the proper encouragement from a manager or supervisor is necessary for some employees to operate at a high level. Many times employees who are merely informed of their job responsibilities and then are given no feedback until a project is complete feel that they are not given enough encouragement along the way. While it may not be a necessity, if a few simple words can make an office or workplace more productive, then it is definitely something that should be done.

Listening Skills
One of the easiest ways for a manager to motivate their employees is to simply improve and utilize their listening skills. When an employee feels like their thoughts and ideas are being listened to, they will feel they are more apart of a project or overall business process and work harder. An employee who knows that their views are valued and sought out is a more motivated employee as they know they have another avenue for impressing their manager and possibly influencing the career path.

Utilize Everyone
Another easy way for a manager or business owner to motivate employees is to make sure that everyone is utilized to their fullest abilities. When one or two employees are not brought in on a project or process, they feel like they are not valued as highly and this may demotivate them in terms of how much effort they put into the projects or responsibilities they do have. By utilizing everyone, a manager not only motivates their employees by showing they are all valued to some degree, but he also maximizes the work output by having everyone possible involved in some way or another.

When Possible, Provide Incentives
Though it may not always be possible, and it may not be feasible on every project, it can sometimes pay off to have incentives that an employee can take advantage of if a certain amount of work is done or a certain level is accomplished. Incentives can be anything from a higher commission and cash bonuses to something smaller like a catered lunch for the employees or even a gift card to a local restaurant. Incentives can sometimes be announced ahead of time and can also be presented to the employees afterwards as a thank you for their hard work. Presenting incentives as a thank you actually has the effect of motivating employees towards the next project or process.

While motivating employees is not always easy, it is a very useful thing to do when done right. There are a number of reasons why an employee or even an entire department may need to be motivated from time to time. They could be feeling overworked, they could have recently undergone personnel changes or questionable disciplinary actions, or they could just be suffering from burnout. Motivating these employees in a realistic and acceptable way is a great way that a manager can improve the productivity of their department and each employee in particular.

Junaid Tahir
www.DailyTenMinutes.com

[HM:257539] 7 Ways To Maintain A Positive Attitude - A Good Article

in today's life when one is thronged with worries and tensions all around, it is very difficult to maintain a positive attitude. And often the more you try and be positive, the more it seems the negative energy around you gains strength. So here are 7 ways to change our modus operandi, be positive and work towards a healthier lifestyle.

Do Not Wait for Happiness.
Do not wait for good things to happen to you. You need to work towards happiness. You need to create a happy environment around you today to remain happy tomorrow. This is called an attitude. If you adopt a positive attitude, life becomes a rewarding game instead of a challenge to 'get through.'

Clarify and Prioritize
Learn to know what you want. If you know what you expect from yourself, your future becomes clear and your goals become attainable
• Clarify your purpose : A purpose is something you fulfill each moment when you are in balance with your life. (A purpose is a simple, positive statement of why you are here). A purpose isn't a goal statement, which one can achieve.
• Discover your purpose: by identifying & prioritizing your most important roles in life (at home, at work, community etc) List the positive qualities that you aspire to possess: Honesty, Philanthropic, Accommodating, Tolerant etc.
• Visualize your future, with a clear picture in your mind of what you want to accomplish in your lifetime (you can become what you think you are and what you see). One of the most powerful techniques for achieving life goals is visualization (creating a mental image of something happening in future). Believing in and seeing your dreams can motivate you to become what you want to be.
• Set goals for yourself (To help your dreams for the future become a reality, you need to set short & long term goals) to stay on course.
To provide steady fuel for your energy, create a list of long term goals to be accomplished in life time & break them into several interim short term goals to help you chart your progress.

Be Resilient
Resilient people are those who face setbacks but ultimately, with perseverance, recover from them. Try and be strong and face life's difficulties as challenges; respond accordingly with action, rather than with fear, self-pity, inferiority or blame. While life can be very challenging, an important step in becoming more resilient is to develop the habit of positive self talk and to remind yourself that you are strong and can grow stronger and wiser as you handle life's challenges.

Self Pep Talk
One's inner dialogue is one's biggest strength and critic. Listen to your inner self and talk to it. Motivate yourself rather than getting motivated by others. It is the inner voice that makes us critical of ourselves. Rule your inner voice!

Laugh Away
Humor is the best medicine. Make laughter a part of your day. Laughter is known to be a mood elevator. When feeling low, read funny stories or go through a joke book. Allow yourself to open up. See the funny side of things and you will realize, life is a complex, yet funny game.

Seize the day
Carpe Diem, as the proverb goes. Always enjoy the moment. Do not worry about your past or future. Live for the day. What has happened is irreversible and what will happen is unknown, so try and enjoy what you have. Like someone has rightly said:"The past is history, the future is mystery.
Today is a Gift, That is why we call it the Present"

Be an Optimist
This is the golden rule to maintaining a positive attitude. Always believe in yourself. Being an optimist does not only mean to see the brighter side of life. To be an optimist means to view the surroundings wherein you maximize your strengths and achievements and minimize your weaknesses and apprehensions.
It is difficult to change yourself in a day But at least give it a try. A positive attitude in life will help you go places. Just curb that fear in you and move towards the right path!!
Remember, I CAN and I WILL

Junaid Tahir
www.DailyTenMinutes.com

[HM:257538] 5 Step Approach to Managing Anger

If something happens that makes you feel angry (like not being allowed to go to a party until you clean your room), this approach can help you manage your reaction.It is called a problem-solving approach because you start with the problem you are mad about. Then you weigh your choices and decide what you will do.
Each step involves asking yourself a couple of questions, then answering them based on your particular situation. Let us take the example from the start of this article: Your mom has just told you to clean your room or stay home. You really want to go to that party. The red-hot anger starts building. Here is what to do:

1) Tune in to your feelings (self-awareness). Start by noticing what you are angry about and why. Put into words what is making you upset so you can act rather than react.

Ask yourself: What is got me angry? What am I feeling and why? You can do this either in your mind or out loud, but it needs to be clear and specific. For example: "I am really angry at Mom because she wont let me go to the party until I clean my room. It is not fair!" Your feeling is anger, and you are feeling angry because you might not get to go to the party.

Notice that this is not the same as saying, "Mom is so unfair to me." That statement does not identify the specific problem (that you can not go to the party until you clean your room) and it does not say how you are feeling (angry).

2) Stop and think (self-control). This is where you stop for a minute to give yourself time to manage your anger. It is also where you start thinking of how you might react - but without reacting yet.

Ask yourself: What can I do? Think of at least three things. For example, in this situation you might think:

(a) I could yell at Mom and throw a fit.
(b) I could clean my room and then ask if I could go to the party.
(c) I could sneak out to the party anyway.

3) Consider your options (think it through). This is where you think about what is likely to result from each of the different reactions you came up with.

Ask yourself: What will happen for each one of these options? For example:

(a) Yelling at your mom may get you in worse trouble or even grounded.

(b) Cleaning your room takes work and you may get to the party late (but hey, arriving late may add to your mystique). With this option, you get to go to the party and your room is clean so you don not have to worry about it for a while.
(c) Sneaking out may seem like a real option in the heat of anger. But when you really think it through, it is pretty unlikely you would get away with being gone for hours with no one noticing. And when you do get caught - look out!

4) Make a decision (pick one of your options). This is where you take action by choosing one of the three things you could do. Look at the list and pick the one that is likely to be most effective.

Ask yourself: What is my best choice? By the time you have thought it through, you are probably past yelling at your mom, which is a knee-jerk response. You may have also decided that sneaking out is too risky. Neither of these options is likely to get you to the party. So option (b) probably seems like the best choice.

Once you choose your solution, then it is time to act.

5) Check your progress. After you have acted and the situation is over, spend some time thinking about how it went.

Ask yourself: How did I do? Did things work out as I expected? If not, why not? Am I satisfied with the choice I made? Taking some time to reflect on how things worked out after it is all over is a very important step. It helps you learn about yourself and it allows you to test which problem-solving approaches work best in different situations.

Give yourself a pat on the back if the solution you chose worked out well. If it did not, go back through the five steps and see if you can figure out why.

These five steps are pretty simple when you are calm, but are much tougher to work through when you are angry or sad (kind of like in basketball practice when making baskets is much easier than in a real game when the pressure is on!). So it helps to practice over and over again.

About The Author:Alim has been writing articles online for nearly 3 years. Not only does this author specialize in technical writing, but you can also check out his latest website on conference room table which reviews and lists best conference room furniture, includes used conference table

Junaid Tahir
www.DailyTenMinutes.com

Wednesday, 29 October 2014

[HM:257537] 6 Types of People Build Your Mental Toughness

As the saying goes, "It gets lonely at the top."   There are many reasons that one feels isolated and at times lonely when they have reached the pinnacle of success.    For one thing, everyone wants to be your friend; but since you can't make time for everyone – only a select few get invited into the circle.   What's my point? Accepting success and failure once you have reached the highest levels of success requires the same mental toughness it took to get there.   As has been proven throughout history, the higher you climb the more quickly the nay-sayers want to bring you back down.   Envy and adversity become the most common invaders you must manage – and all the while you need to remain mentally tough, and not allow the noise to cloud your mind and control your actions.

Mental toughness defines the leadership game.    You need wide-angle vision to continuously navigate the terrain that awaits you with each big decision you make and vision you cast.   The tension points of leadership can be extremely exhausting and pressure-packed.   Nevertheless, the leadership journey must continue and your demeanor must appear unfazed as if it were business as usual.

Mental toughness is acquired over time.   To be mentality tough means that risk is your best friend, that innovation comes second nature and that you have grown accustomed to anticipating crisis and managing change.   Mental toughness is also a by-product of experiencing failure and knowing how to rebound.    As Rick Newman noted in his book, Rebounders, "Setbacks can be a secret weapon. They often teach vital things you'll never learn in school, on the job or from others."

As I have learned from my own experiences, mental toughness begins when you can separate your emotions and remain focused on what matters most. And this is never more true than when you are being ambushed by one of the following six negative members of your audience:

1.       The Doubters
These are the skeptics who want you to fail and believe your ideas have no merit. They are the pessimistic ones waiting on the sidelines – wanting things to go wrong and salivating to witness your hardship.

2.       The Leeches
These are the people who lack creativity and originality. Leeches will stay close to your every move just so they can steal your ideas.   They enjoy asking you lots of questions and are aggressive in requesting one-on-one time to pick your brain for wisdom that they can use for their own personal benefit.    The sibling of the leech is the loafer, and you can learn more about both types here.

3.       The Critics
These are the people who are always finding ways to disrupt your confidence by telling you that your vision is wrong. They are quick to inform you that your knowledge of the marketplace is not realistic as they attempt to throw your thinking off kilter.   The critics are a legitimate challenge because they possess valid insights of the landscape you are competing in – yet they lack the hands-on battle wounds to justify their criticisms.   They are the prototypical "know-it-alls" who believe that they are always right and that their "written credentials" allow them to have a voice in the matter.

4.       The Envious
These are the people who wish they had your courage, but instead waste their energy by poking fun at your efforts to create impact.    Envious people make your job more difficult as they attempt to slow down your execution by trying to convince themselves and others that your work isn't important.   Most envious people are those who wish they were more like you, and thus remain bitter because they don't trust themselves enough to be unique in their own ways. Because we live in a dog-eat-dog world, envious people would rather find joy in making your life difficult rather than using their valuable time to make a difference in the world.   Read more about how envy destroys careers here.

5.       The Victims
Victims believe they haven't had a good break in life and thus feel that something is owed to them for their misfortune. They would rather spend their time trying to make you feel sorry for them. They are quick to ask for favors, but slow to reciprocate.   They are the manipulators and want others to feel their pain – though they are rarely motivated to take initiative.

Move up http://i.forbesimg.com t Move down

6.       The Noise
These are the voices that are drowning in mass confusion and just want to be heard. They are loud and obnoxious and crave attention.   Unlike the victims, they have no real ambition and live with no purpose.
Leadership is a journey of mental toughness. Without it, you can't effectively think, act and innovate. You can't motivate or inspire the best in others.   If you can't handle the aforementioned six types of people, you should think carefully if you are ready to assume a leadership role. It's a mandatory responsibility that is not outlined in the job description

Source: Forbes

Junaid Tahir

www.DailyTenMinutes.com

[HM:257536] Self Audit - How to Analyze Your Thoughts

By Junaid Tahir

Why Should I Analyze My Thoughts:

Quality of thoughts determines the level of peace of mind. Negative thoughts result in negative acts which in turn causes distraction in emotions, unstable behavior, frequent mood swings, family complications, lack of trustworthiness, financial mistakes, professional brawls and so on. Healthy thoughts result in more positive outcomes, high happiness index, better health and so on. So all in all your thoughts are defining your present and your future.

There are several reasons for negative thoughts including but not limited to your circumstances, your brought up, financial situations, family conflicts, job and family complications. While you may not be able to fix these reasons, it is highly recommended to analyze your thoughts and mitigate the negative impact as much as possible. If you remove the impurities from your thoughts you would be able to have a positive, focused and prosperous mind.

How to Analyze My Thoughts:

If you have seen a big aquarium, you must have noticed that the fish keep wandering here and there continuously. From right to left, bottom to up, here and there; all day long. They don't seem to be getting any specific advantage while doing so. Same is the case with human mind. When your head is on the pillow, your brain starts wandering here and there. Several times it is processing the thoughts which shouldn't be the point of concern at all. Though fish do not know this but you can control your wandering of brain by picking up a specific thought/subject and ask these questions:

a)    Why am I thinking about this subject? Is this subject related to others? Why am I thinking negative about someone? I should mind my own business.
b)    What exactly is the issue? Is this something impacting (or going to impact) me or my family? Can I define my issue/question in one sentence clearly so that I can focus on the solution?
c)    How: can I resolve this issues? Is this doable? If not, can I take advice from others?. If I have the solution then what are the steps which needs to be taken?

How Can I Improve the standard of my Thoughts:

a) Avoid thinking about unnecessary things specially related to others. Mind your own business. Posses a focused mind.

b) Stop comparing yourself to others. It's an insult to yourself. You are a unique soul and you are independent on your living, your decisions and your destiny.

c) Don't think of monetary gains too much. Excessive love for money and assets is the root of most of stresses. Work on your real wealth.

d) Develop the habit of forgiving and letting things go off. If you are keeping the grudge in your brains for longer durations, you are killing yourself. Stress is a slow poison which deepens its roots your brain and destroy your physical and mental health.

e) Read quality quotes or articles on positivity and try to absorb the message. This will kill the germs of negativity.

f) Practice the habit of gratitude. Stop complaining, criticizing and blaming. When a negative thought comes in, convert it to positive by looking at the positive side of the issue.

g) Instead of thinking about your 'wants' too much, think about your needs. This will reduce the magnitude of your focus because usually needs are limited but wants are too many. Adapt simple life style as it reduces unnecessary socio-economical issues.

Some recommended articles:

How to be Strong in Hard Moments

10 Tips to Fight Depression

How to Develop Good Habits

6 Tips for Anger Management

7 Super Powers You Must Posses

Junaid Tahir
www.DailyTenMinutes.com

Monday, 27 October 2014

[HM:257534] Refreshing the Famous 90/10 Principle

The 90/10 Principle says, " 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react

What does this mean?
We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of milk onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your wife and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. After a 15-minute delay you arrive at school. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the cup of hot milk cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did you cause it?
The answer is

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, getting stressed out etc.
The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. Next time you react to any situation, remember the 90-10 principle.

K.N.RAJAN

Junaid Tahir
www.DailyTenMinutes.com