Have the conversation in a comfortable and known environment if possible, such as the home. This will help keep both the adult and child a little more relaxed. Keep it private as well, so interruptions will be minimal and both of you can feel assured that your conversation is just between the two of you, and not anyone else.
Begin the conversation as soon as the situation calls for it. Don't delay, or it will be harder for you to discuss. Whether it is a conversation about sex, death and dying, or other difficult topics, the more you wait, the larger the disservice you are doing to your children.
Encourage your child to express his feelings and to ask questions. Be sure and listen carefully to them and be open regarding what they may say. Any negative responses may discourage the child from continuing to talk and ask questions. Let them talk as much as you do, or more so, if needed. This way it will be a two-way conversation instead of a lecture.
Educate the child as best as you can. Give her facts and figures if needed. You may consider educating yourself beforehand so that you are more prepared. If your difficult topic is death, again, be honest in your discussion. If you don't know the answer to a question, assure them you will find that answer, if possible.
Plan a followup discussion. Talking with a child about difficult topics is not likely to be done in one sitting. Breaking it up is best. You may think of other things to say after the fact, and your child may later come with questions or concerns. Let them know they are always welcome to come to you to talk anytime they want, but perhaps setting up a time to get together in the future and talk will help encourage them to think of things before that time.
WHAT YOU THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS – Wayne Dyer
"What you think of me is none of my business." – Wayne Dyer
What would your life look like if you were literally unable to worry about other people's opinions?
What a freedom that would be! You would live according to what you thought was beneficial for you and make decisions without second-guessing, over-analyzing, and shoulda-coulda-woulda-ing. You would no longer have any need for approval nor fear of disapproval.
The truth is, we don't have any need for approval. Not truly. It is our egos that crave approval and fear disapproval. The mind loves to take things very personally and attempts to gain power through approval and disapproval games. When we separate ourselves from our ego, approval and disapproval have no value whatsoever. And nothing is taken personally.
In reality, another person's thought or opinion about you is never personal, because it is never really about you in the first place. It's about them. Our thoughts about anything and everything are only about ourselves. As Byron Katie points out, what I think and what I feel is my business. What you think and what you feel is your business. When I'm worried about how you feel about me, I'm in your business. And if I'm busy living in your business, how am I present for my own business?
When we let go of worrying over other people's opinions, we are free to reflect on our own opinions of ourselves. Am I happy with myself? Did I make the right decision for me? Am I happy with how I treated you? Am I living in healthy and positive ways, for the highest good of everyone involved?
Living according to our own truth is one of the highest acts of self-love and self-care. And when you live according to your truth and stay in your own mental business, others will honor you and the truth you live, too, whether they agree with you or not.
COURTESY:MEDITATION PHOTOGRAPHY BY G.SURESH
If you don't have a nice circle of friends, that are fun and who also encourage you to get ahead in life, then you're either shy about meeting and making friends, or you're not exactly sure about how to do it. On the other hand, perhaps you're already trying to meet new people, but you're getting the results you want, because you're not using the best strategies that could easily bring great people into your life.
In this article, I want to share with you how you can stop shyness from sabotaging your social life, and how to start meeting friends.
If you want to "beat" your shyness by learning to build confidence, it can take you a long time, because shyness is deeply wired into your emotions.
Instead of trying to change your shyness, I recommend that you focus on learning how to do what shyness is preventing you from doing.
Social Competence is key. The more you know about how the social world works, and how to socialize, the less discouraging mistakes you'll make, and the more friends you'll have.
Here are a couple of tips you can use:
Tip #1 – How to get comfortable in a social situation
If you're shy about going to a party, or to a social gathering, then a simple switch that can help is to go EARLY. If you do this, you'll give yourself some time to get used to the surrounding and feel comfortable gradually before it gets crowded with people.
If you know the host, then you could offer to help out. That might allow you to be more comfortable by having something to do.
Tip #2 – What to do when people invite you, but you are nervous about accepting
Do you find yourself in the situation of declining people's invitations, but regretting it afterwards, because you know you want to go?
What you can do in this situation, is to accept the invitation, and have a back-up plan. This allows you to leave the place if you get too nervous and can't handle the social pressure. You can tell the person that invited you that you don't know how long you can stay, because you're expecting a call from someone and you may need to leave to help him or her out with something.
This allows you to either stay if you feel comfortable, or leave, if you don't. Either way, you win.
Tip #3 – How to clearly express your opinion, if you're not used to it
Expressing your opinion is important, but if you're not used to doing it, it can feel scary. One way to overcome this is to use humor. Offering ideas in a light or even silly manner is less intimidating.
The more you focus on HOW to socialize, the quicker you'll find answers. I suggest that you stay open to new ideas when it comes to social skills like keeping conversations going, meeting people, and building your social circle
Source: LifeHack.
