Self-Care is Selfish – NOT by Jane Powell "Learn to nurture yourself." Somewhere along the line many learn to put the needs of others before their own. In many ways this ability is one of our greatest talents; nurturing is a trait that validates us and this quality of our nature should surely be treasured and celebrated. But, why is it that so many of us feel guilty when it comes to nurturing ourselves? We feel selfish. We believe that we're stealing time away from those that need us. Yet the truth is, you need to nurture yourself before you can successfully nurture others. This may sound self-indulgent, but it's not. By taking care of your own needs you are recognizing and affirming that your own emotional, physical and mental health is just as important as that of others. The truth is that, at least some of the time, you have to put yourself and your own needs first. If you love and care for yourself, you're far better equipped to love and care for those that need you. SOMETHING YOU CAN'T FAKE One person writes: "I have been in many places, but I have never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can't go there alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. You have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my family, friends and those where I have worked." I find myself in some interesting places - like Love. Have you ever been in Love? It can be a hard place to leave. Occasionally I find myself in Fear, in Doubt and, at times, in Capable. I don't like to spend a lot of time there. But what about Sincere? Have you been in Sincere, lately? I've been there and it is not an honorable place to go. A guy was in Sincere when he bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. Well, not quite a diamond, but it looked like one. A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-wheel drive vehicles." He shrugged his shoulders. "She did. But where in the world was I going to find a fake jeep?" Is there such a thing as a fake relationship? You remember comedian Tommy Smothers old line? "The best thing about getting older is that you gain sincerity. Once you learn to fake that, there's nothing you can't do." I heard a true story of a teenager who got a tattoo on her hip - a delicate little Japanese symbol. At her friend's house she showed it off. The friend's mother commented on it and the girl begged, "Please don't tell my parents." The mother assured her that she wouldn't say anything about it. Then she asked, "By the way, what does it stand for?" "Honesty," she said. I love irony. When I am sincere, there's nothing to hide. I am just me. It's something I can't fake. And if I'm the best me that I can be, then what can I be that is any better? The Wall Street Journal once printed a little piece titled "Sincerity." It is one of my favorites. "I wish I were big enough honestly to admit all my shortcomings; brilliant enough to accept praise without it making me arrogant; tall enough to tower above deceit; strong enough to welcome criticism; compassionate enough to understand human frailties; wise enough to recognize my mistakes; humble enough to appreciate greatness; staunch enough to stand by my friends; human enough to be thoughtful of my neighbor; and righteous enough to be devoted to the love of God." I am really not all that strong. I don't always act with courage. I am certainly not as brilliant as others, as charming or as wise. But today I can be me. And when I lie down tonight, I'll sleep easy knowing it will have been enough. Steve Goodier Let today be that day This is a day filled with possibilities. This is a day when you can get results. Though conditions may not be perfect, still they are sufficient for you to move forward. Though circumstances may not he ideal, within those circumstances you can most certainly make progress. What is it that you would like to achieve? What is it that you wish to change, improve upon, create, express or experience? If you ever want it to happen, now is when you must do something about it. If it is your desire to see it come about, it is your responsibility to make the necessary effort. Nothing ever gets accomplished someday by somebody. If it is to happen, it must be done on a specific day by a specific person. Let today be that day. And let yourself be that person. Ralph Marston
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