Monday, 10 March 2014

[HM:257176] "Complaints" from Employee to his/her Manager

Dear Manager:

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait

until 5:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a

deadline is always refreshing.

2. If it's really a "rush job," run in and interrupt

me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That

greatly aids my efficiency.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're

going. It gives me a chance to be creative when

someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or

supplies, don't open the door for me. I might need to

learn how to function as a paraplegic in future and

opening doors is good training.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell

me which is the priority. Let me guess.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and

really have nowhere to go or anything to do.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. Leaks

like that could get me a promotion.

8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my

name to be popular in conversations.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't

write them down. If fact, save them until the job is

almost done.

10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. When

you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will

identify them.

11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you

could really change your life.

12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has

any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate.

Source: Unknown

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