Dear Manager:
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait
until 5:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a
deadline is always refreshing.
2. If it's really a "rush job," run in and interrupt
me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That
greatly aids my efficiency.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're
going. It gives me a chance to be creative when
someone asks where you are.
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or
supplies, don't open the door for me. I might need to
learn how to function as a paraplegic in future and
opening doors is good training.
5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell
me which is the priority. Let me guess.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and
really have nowhere to go or anything to do.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. Leaks
like that could get me a promotion.
8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my
name to be popular in conversations.
9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't
write them down. If fact, save them until the job is
almost done.
10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. When
you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will
identify them.
11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you
could really change your life.
12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has
any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate.
Source: Unknown
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