Wednesday 31 December 2014

[HM:257651] Wishes

Wish u a happy new year 2015. God bless you

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Sunday 28 December 2014

[HM:257631] 14 Strategies to Make Better Decisions



in -

  1. Involve colleagues who see the world differently from you.
  2. Fight the temptation to solve today's problem with yesterdays solution
  3. Solve problems with a win-win orientation
  4. Solicit information from individuals affected by the decision
  5. Make sure you are solving the right problem
  6. Consider as many solution as possible.
  7. Realize that even the best solution may open the door to new problems.
  8. If you are using hard data as the basis of your decision, verify the numbers.
  9. When you make a decision affecting others, share the reason behind the decision.
  10. Think in terms of satisfying, not optimization.
  11. Ask a lot of questions.
  12. Learn from prior decisions
  13. Ask for criticism.
  14. Recognize your personal decision making biase

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[HM:257630] Top 10 New Year Resolutions




A New Year's resolution is a self commitment that a person makes to achieve personal goals, projects, or reforming of a bad habit. This committment is the driving force to perform the corrective and preventice actions througout the next year in order for acheiving the committed result.
Below are the top ten New Year Resolution which you can consider to chose from for your personal goals in next year:


1-     Learning new things:  Gaining more and more knowledge increases the wisdom level by giving you insightful depth in the field of your interest. Whether you are a professional, a businessman, student or a house wife you must learn new things in order to enhance your mental horizons and improving your life standards. You can do this by getting trainings, earning a new degree or certificate, subscribing to online communities or reading books.

2-    Achieving Mental & Spiritual Heights: This one is my favorite as Mental peace and mental prosperity is the most critical aspect of life regardless of the financial situation. Even if you are rich, if you don't have mental peace, you are missing a great blessing so you must work on the techniques to attain a humble and stable mind. This can be achieved by attaining positive personality, by having better control on Anger, by being less Reactive, and by avoiding Stress


3-    Financial Targets: Most of us work on this target all year round. However we do not strategize enough to achieve it. Primarily we spend a lot of money on our wants instead of our needs. A careful analysis must be done before you spend on anything. Read this article for making good decision. Another aspect of achieving financial growth is to increase your sources of income for example running a new business, changing your current job, investing in land or gold etc. You may want to read this side article about what is actual wealth and how to achieve this.

4-    Health and Fitness: With the invention of new luxuries the life style is becoming more and more lazy consequently raising the bar for health related concerns. What adds fuel to the fire is our increased liking for fast foods and dining out in unhealthy restaurants. Junk food adds fats, results in high cholesterol and high Blood Pressure which increase the risk of heart disease leading us towards big disasters. Make a commitment to yourself to minimize eating fast foods and shift to vegetables and fruits. This cannot be done overnight so you have to change your current habits slowly and steadily.     

5-    New Career Move: I was listening to the interview of the CEO of Porsche selling company; the guy mentioned that autonomy is the most considerable reason people leave their job. Everyone wants more and more luxury, independence and growth in life. So you make this resolution to go high in your professional ladder this year. Carefully sense the market and make a smart move. Read this article, 15 ways to Find Job  

6-    Cutting the clutters: This is not something to achieve rather to leave in order to gain indirect goals. Stats show that people who live simple life have higher happiness index. Basically what happens is that over the course of time we keep purchasing things because of our instant buying habit mixed with our intention to show-off and then eventually we dump these things in the closets or home store. Being too much materialistic and having the lust of acquiring more and more things, even if we don't use them, takes us away from simple life which ultimately add extra layer to the complications in our lives . Now is the time to clear all those bulky things in the closet and store including old clothes, toys and other commodities to give in charity. Personally, I use 6 months formula" "If something has not been used for the last 6 months, there is a most likely chance that it will not be used in next 6 months so better to give this to poor people & family around me"  

7-    Spend more time with family: With more focus on materialistic things we have reduced our family time, sometimes our children are being referred to as new age orphans. With everyone busy on his smart phones, PDAs, laptops and Television we have almost killed the family union spirit which is adding complications in relationships resulting in serious consequences. Strong family bonding are an indicative of better happiness index. People who spend less time with families are comparatively less happier. Make a resolution this year to become a family guy. Spend time with them, spend money on family fun activities and you will feel a special mental peace eventually.

8-    Getting Organized: Staying organized has many advantages in terms of having more time for yourself and family; in terms of saving money; peace of mind, better health, balanced life and improved professional/Social life. This involves being organized in terms of time, in terms of office desk, official work, differentiating between urgent and important tasks and organize them, maintaining a personal diary, maintaining a list of things-to-do.  

9-    Helping Others: Not a lot of people focus on this but I would really appeal you to consider this. Charity Services are the tax we pay back to society for living on earth. Almost all of the religions emphasize to its followers to take care of people around them. Practically speaking, you can assign 3-5% of your earnings for charity projects within your country or foreign countries who are less fortunate; having low or no food and/or having lack of other basic human necessities like water, clothes, medicines etc. Article written by Junaid.Tahir

10-   Quit Smoking and drinking: Understood that bad habits die hard but remember the fact that bad habits make you die early too, especially when it comes to habits of smoking and drinking. Quit them ASAP before they overcome your health. You already know that how these two habits affect your lungs, kidneys and levers. Quit them before they make you quit the world.

A visionary person like you can definitely achieve the targets by being proactive and analytical, by having consistency and Hard work and the ability to focus on the commitments you make. Make Effective decisions for the new year and work hard to achieve concrete results.
Good luck and Happy New Year !!!


About Author: Junaid Tahir, a telecom engineer and a blogger, writes articles on wisdom, happiness and stress management. His articles can be read Here

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Friday 26 December 2014

[HM:257629] Stop Being So Positive

20141027

by Gabriele Oettingen  |   9:27 AM October 27, 2014

















We’ve all heard a great deal about the power of positive thinking. Organizations encourage it among their employees in an effort to boost performance and engagement, and it’s a key tenet of “managing yourself” well; affirmative messages about perseverance, resilience, and vision adorn many an office wall. In the wake of the Great Recession, some businesses even hired happiness coaches to get their workers looking on the bright side. And an optimistic attitude is expected of leaders; politicians and corporate executives should always have that “think it-do it” spirit on display.

There’s just one problem, however. Research my colleagues and I have performed over the past two decades suggests that positive thinking doesn’t actually help us as much as we suppose. In fact, across dozens of peer-reviewed studies examining the effects of positive visions of the future on people pursuing various kinds of wishes — from health-related, such as losing weight, quitting smoking, or recovering quickly from surgery, to the improvement of professional or academic performance (for example, mid-level managers wishing to reduce job-related stress, graduate students looking for a job, or school children seeking to get good grades) — we’ve consistently found that people who positively fantasize make either the same or less progress in achieving attainable wishes than those who don’t.

This makes perfect sense, if you think about it. Dreaming about a successful outcome in the future is pleasurable, leaving you with a nice, warm feeling of satisfaction. But in a workplace setting, that’s counterproductive. You’re less motivated to buck up and make the strong, persistent effort that is usually required to realize challenging but feasible wishes. In some of our studies, we found that positive thinking produced measurably lower systolic blood pressure — a key measure of how energized someone is. In others, positive thinkers were as likely as participants in a control group to take easy steps toward a goal, but significantly less likely to take more cumbersome and difficult steps, such as donating meaningful amounts of their time or money.

“Okay,” you might say, “Forget positive thinking. I’m going to dwell on all the daunting challenges I face in my job.” But, unfortunately, dwelling on reality doesn’t help much either.

What does help is mental contrasting, an exercise that brings together our positive fantasy about the future with a visualization of the obstacle standing in the way. Even more beneficial is adding if-then planning that allows you to address the obstacle when it arises.

In our research, we’ve developed a mental contrasting tool called WOOP — Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan. Here’s how it works: Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed, switch off your devices, and close your eyes. Name a wish that is attainable or realistic for you — say, landing a new client. Then imagine for a few minutes what would happen if that wish came true, letting the images flow freely through your mind. Then change things up. Identify the main obstacle inside you that stands in the way, and imagine it for a few minutes. Now on to your plan: If faced with obstacle X, then you will take effective action Y in response.

WOOP is simple, easy, and inexpensive — so much so that you might not think it would work. After all, behavior change usually requires expensive  coaching or training programs, right? Our results suggest not. In a study of health care providers, we found that those who used WOOP were significantly more engaged with their work and less stressed than members of a control group. In studies of college students enrolled in a vocational business program, we found that it helped them manage their time better. And we’ve also used WOOP to help school children study more for the PSAT, do more homework, and get better grades.

Why does it work? Because the process either helps people understand their wishes are attainable, giving them energy and direction, heightening their engagement and prompting them to act; or it helps them realize their wishes are unrealistic, leading them to disengage  and freeing them up to pursue other, more promising endeavors.

Although positive thinking feels good in the moment,  it often bears a false promise. Only when it’s paired with a clear view of potential obstacles will it consistently produce desirable results.

More blog posts by
80-Gabriele_Oettingen

Gabriele Oettingen is a professor of psychology at New York University and the University of Hamburg and the author of Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation.


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[HM:257628] Story: Man Locked In Cold Room



in - on 6/13/2014 08:15:00 AM - No comments


Juan worked at a meat distribution factory. One day, when he finished with his work schedule, he went into the meat cold room to inspect something, but in a moment of bad luck, the door closed and he was locked inside with no help in sight. 
Although he screamed and knocked with all his might, his cries went unheard as no one could hear him. Most of the workers had already gone, and outside the cold room it's impossible to hear what was going on inside.
Five hours later, whilst Juan was on the verge of death, the security guard of the factory, eventually opened the door and saved Juan's life.
Juan then asked the security guard how he got to open the door, as it wasn't part of his work routine, and he explained thus: "I've been working in this factory for 35 years, hundreds of workers come in and out every day, but you're one of the few who greets me in the morning and says goodbye to me every night when leaving after working hours. Many treat me as if I am invisible.
Today, like every other day, you greeted me in your simple manner ' Hello ' at the entrance when resuming for work. But curiously, after working hours today, I observed I've not heard your ' bye! see you tomorrow '. Hence I decided to check around the factory. I look forward to your ' Hi ' and ' bye ' every day. To you, I am someone. By not hearing your farewell, I knew something had happened.

Then I Sought and found you! 

"Moral Lesson to reflect upon":
Be humble, love and respect those around you. As life is too short! Try to have an impact on people in ways we can't even imagine, especially the people that cross our path every day. Someone seemingly so insignificant and irrelevant today could be the only help you can get tomorrow.

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Thursday 25 December 2014

[HM:257627] Short Story: The Unhappy Young Lady



in - on 2/07/2014 02:53:00 PM - No comments


The old Master instructed the unhappy young lady to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it. "How does it taste?" the Master asked. "Very bad" Said the lady.

The Master then asked the young lady to take another handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake and when the apprentice swirled his handful of salt into the lake, the old man said, "Now drink from the lake."

As the water dripped down the young lady's chin, the Master asked, "How does it taste?" "Good!" remarked the apprentice. "Do you taste the salt?" asked the Master. "No," said the young lady.

The Master said, "The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount we taste the 'pain' depends on the container we put it into. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things..... Stop being a glass.  Become a lake!"

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Wednesday 24 December 2014

[HM:257626] What to Do If You're Smarter than Your Boss


You want to work for a great boss — someone you can respect and learn from. But what if your manager isn’t good at his job? What if you’re more competent or have greater skills? Should you be raising a ruckus or keeping your head down? And how do you get what you need without making your boss look bad?

What the Experts Say
“There are a lot of bad managers out there,” says Annie McKee, founder of the Teleos Leadership Institute and coauthor of Primal Leadership. So it’s not unusual to feel smarter or more qualified than your boss. Still, being in good company doesn’t make the situation any more tenable. Toiling under someone who you feel is incompetent can be demoralizing. But not all hope is lost. Even less-than-great bosses have something to teach, says Linda Hill, the Wallace Brett Donham Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School and coauthor of Collective Genius and Being the Boss: “There are very few people in this world that I don’t think I can learn from.” So try not to discount your boss completely. Here’s how to make the most of the often frustrating situation.

Be honest with yourself
Before you declare your boss an incompetent fool, take a close look at what’s really happening. “Some people need to believe they’re better to keep their self-esteem intact, or they may just be more qualified in one area,” McKee says. Ask yourself if you’re genuinely smarter than your manager or if it’s possible that you’re more qualified in some areas but not others. “As people move up it’s natural to get better at leading and managing while losing your technical edge,” says McKee. Be honest with yourself about what skills you have and which your boss lacks. “Being smarter than your boss doesn’t mean you’re going to be more effective,” says Hill. After all, to be good at your job, you don’t just need smarts. “You need experience, strong relationships, social capital, and emotional intelligence,” she says.


Keep quiet
If after reflecting on the situation, you conclude that you’re actually smarter or more qualified, think twice before talking to anyone about it. McKee says it’s tempting to plead your case to higher ups or to try to prove that you should have you manager’s job. But this rarely works. “You put yourself at risk if you decide to go directly into that conflict because bosses usually win,” she says. Sure, you may want to vent to one or two trusted colleagues, but be careful. “If your boss senses you are critical or derogatory of her, that relationship may be over,” she says. Many people in this situation make the mistake of telling others how incompetent or unqualified their boss is. “You need to be respectful. If you badmouth your manager, it’s going to reflect badly on you. People notice and worry you’ll talk about them the same way,” says Hill. Nor should you take it out on her. “Don’t be mad at the boss, be mad at the people who didn’t make you the boss,” she says.

Focus on doing a good job
Don’t get caught up in ruminating about who should have what job. You’re better off focusing on your responsibilities, says Hill: “You want to make sure you do your work and people understand what you’ve been able to accomplish.” It might help to focus on the bigger picture instead of your relationship. “You have to find a higher purpose,” says McKee. “Take it outside of the interpersonal fight with your boss.” Hill agrees: “Don’t come in as the smart, young hotshot. Do what’s best for the enterprise.”

Help your boss be better
There’s no reason not to be generous. If your boss is successful, there’s a greater chance you’ll be successful too. “See yourself as a complement to the person. Find a way to compensate for her weaknesses,” says Hill. If he isn’t good at seeing the big picture, ask questions that help him pull back from the details. If she doesn’t understand the technical ins and outs of your product, offer to cover the part of a meeting where the features will be discussed. “Offer up ways that he or she can use you better,” says McKee.

Don’t cover up
“There’s a big difference between delivering on what you’re supposed to do and covering up your boss’s mistakes,” says McKee. If your boss has a pattern of making gaffes, it doesn’t serve you or the company to continuously clean up his mess. “You need to do your job well and you need to deliver on what your boss is asking of you, but if your work is being used to cover up serious deficiencies, you may need to have a conversation with HR,” says McKee.

Find something to respect
It’s easy to focus on the bad but even the worst bosses have redeeming qualities. “How can you find something you respect?” asks McKee. She recommends looking beyond the work environment if necessary. “Is your boss a good mom or a kind husband?” If you truly can’t find something you admire, you may need to find a new job. “If not now, soon,” says McKee. “It’s soul destroying to work for someone you truly don’t respect.” Hill agrees: “If you think you can’t partner with that person, then you need to think about whether you should be at the organization.”

Learn from someone else
If your boss isn’t giving you the coaching you need, “broaden your network,” Hill recommends. Take your learning into your own hands and, McKee suggests, volunteer for projects that will allow you to interact with other senior people in the company. Be explicit about what you want. You might approach another manager and say, “I’d love to learn more about how you do X. Do you mind if we spend a couple hours together over the next few months?” “You can choose to see every opportunity as a way to learn,” McKee says.

Principles to Remember

Do:

  • Help your boss do her job — see yourself as a complement
  • Find something you genuinely respect about him
  • Seek out other mentors to help you learn and grow

Don’t:

  • Assume that you’re more qualified than your boss— chances are she has some skills you don’t
  • Try to take over her job — bosses usually win
  • Cover up egregious mistakes or a long-standing pattern of ineptitude

Case study #1: Help out when you can
When Patricia Wright* was appointed by a government official in South Africa as an assistant, the job was meant to be administrative. But it was quickly clear to her and her new boss that she had valuable technical skills and experience. “My knowledge and experience on IT-related issues superseded those of my colleagues and my manager,” she says.

At the beginning, she found it irritating to know more than her boss. But he was “very open to learning and being shown how things should be done,” Patricia says. “We grew up in different eras so it did take time and patience to teach him but when he used my ideas, he would thank me and attribute the suggestions to me.” So her frustration soon turned to pride.

Eventually Patricia moved on because she wasn’t passionate about the work. Still she got a lot from her experience. “I learned to have plenty of patience and to be a ‘solution seeker.’ This way of thinking helped me get the job I have today.”

Case study #2: Make your boss look good
Soon after Abike Eze* became a marketing and business development manager at a financial services company based in Lagos, Nigeria, he got a new boss — we’ll call her Rose.* Rose moved to marketing from HR and had no background in the function. Abike found himself having to cover a lot of her work. “Even though she heads the marketing unit, I am responsible for coming up with the strategy to grow the business and for cutting costs,” he says.

He admits that it’s frustrating at times, especially when she makes decisions that go against what he thinks is best based on his expertise. Still, he does whatever he can to support her and make her look good. “Humility is the way to go,” he says. “I offer to help when I sense she may be struggling with a task or an idea.” And when he presents an idea to more senior executives, he often gives Rose the credit or at least says that they worked on it together. She is aware of what Abike does for her and returns the favor, saying good things about him to their boss.

This collaborative —rather than combative ­— approach has worked for Abike. He is well regarded by his boss’s boss and he has critical responsibilities in the company, even if he doesn’t hold the “head of marketing” title.  Besides he doesn’t see another good option. “If you have friction with your manager, and the company values him more than you, you may risk being let go,” he explains. “She’s been with the company for over a decade and I have only been here for eight months. Besides she is my boss after all,” he says.

*not their real names


Amy Gallo is a contributing editor at Harvard Business Review. Follow her on Twitter at @amyegallo.


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[HM:257625] 20 Ways To Recognize A Good Partner



1) They ignore past mistakes

A good partner puts the past in perspective and doesn’t constantly bring up reminders from the past that serve no valuable purpose in the present. Such as something their partner did months or years earlier. Move on!

2) They don’t compare

The partner realizes that each person they date has strengths and weaknesses and refrains from comparing their current partner to their exes – especially unfavorably. Just because an ex was unfaithful does not mean that another partner will be so too.

3) They understand the idea of ‘give and take’

The partner is aware that all relationships need both partners to put in effort. It’s all about balance, about the give and take. If one person does all the taking, the imbalance will lead to problems. The person doing all the giving will end up resentful.

4) They know the importance of time alone

A good partner understands when they need space and a time out. A healthy relationship involves having interests outside the relationship, and spending too much time together can lead to a feeling of suffocation. Again, it’s all about balance.

5) They prioritize communication

The partner places communication as a high priority. Many if not most issues can be worked out if you have the ability to communicate with one another. Being able to talk openly and knowing you will be heard and not ignored or dismissed is vital for the longevity of a relationship.

6) They are straightforward and/or uncomplicated

A good partner doesn’t engage in game playing. They live with integrity and speak up about problems instead of engaging in underhanded tactics such as passive aggressive behavior or withdrawing affection.

7) They are ‘tuned in’

The partner knows their significant other’s ‘love language,’ from acts of service to affection to spending quality time together to verbal expressions to gifts.

8) They are light hearted

A good partner has a good sense of humor, and you can exchange jokes with them and make each other laugh.

9) They are reasonable

The partner has realistic expectations of their significant other. We’re all human and we all make mistakes. A good partner doesn’t have double standards whereby one set of rules applies to them and a different set of rules applies to everyone else.

10) They are self-aware

A good partner understands when they are projecting. Often, we expect others to show strengths that we wish we had. When they don’t, we feel disappointed. Learn to develop these skills in yourself and use your relationship as a way forward to enlightenment and personal growth.

11) They are optimistic

The partner has positive expectations; they expect the relationship to be good and to last and don’t dwell on negatives. Focusing on the bad parts can lead to self fulfilling prophecies.

12) They take responsibility for themselves

A good partner doesn’t expect their significant other to be the only source of happiness in their life. They  realize that we are all responsible for our own happiness. A partner is a wonderful bonus but not a necessity in life.

13) They are not emotionally abusive, manipulative or controlling

A good partner treats their significant other with respect by not criticizing them relentlessly, embarrassing them in front of others or trying to control them.

14) They are generous with their time and/or resources

The partner shows empathy and works with you as a team. It’s not all about them, just like it’s not all about you. You work together, and they understand the concept of strength in numbers and are happy to offer support.

15) They are dependable

A good partner is reliable and responsible, always there for you in a crisis if thy are able to.

16) They are supportive

A good partner encourages you to be the best you can be. They do not feel threatened by your success and they naturally bring out the best in you.

17) They put consistent effort into the relationship

A caring, good partner realizes that relationships take work and don’t chug along for ever without putting any effort in. The honeymoon phase is really just that, a phase!

18) They are honest and trustworthy

The partner is trustworthy, say what they mean and would never cheat on you. If they did meet someone else, they would end the relationship rather than deceive you and hurt you by leading you on.

19) They are able to say “sorry”

A good partner is self aware enough to know when they are in the wrong and have no problem with apologizing.

20) They are your best friend

A good partner offers a wonderful friendship. Friendship can hold a relationship together when the going gets tough. If you are friends, the other problems can always be worked out, since friendship provides a solid foundation for a happy healthy relationship.

Of course, we are all human and can’t be good partners 100% of the time. A good partner, however, will possess most of the qualities listed above and will generally be someone who is happy with who they are and how they live their lives. Once self-acceptance established, there is always more to give to others.

Love this article? Share it with your friends on Facebook - LIFEHACK

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