Wednesday 21 November 2012

Re: [HM:255229] Digest for hyd-masti@googlegroups.com - 6 Messages in 5 Topics

Vandita... one who is praised by all
vrinda... pure... Tulsi...
both names of my daughters..


On Tue, Nov 20, 2012 at 6:31 PM, <hyd-masti@googlegroups.com> wrote:

Group: http://groups.google.com/group/hyd-masti/topics

    Junaid Tahir <mjunaidtahir@gmail.com> Nov 20 10:14AM +0400  

    If something happens that makes you feel angry (like not being allowed to
    go to a party until you clean your room), this approach can help you manage
    your reaction.It is called a problem-solving approach because you start
    with the problem you are mad about. Then you weigh your choices and decide
    what you will do.
    Each step involves asking yourself a couple of questions, then answering
    them based on your particular situation. Let us take the example from the
    start of this article: Your mom has just told you to clean your room or
    stay home. You really want to go to that party. The red-hot anger starts
    building. Here is what to do:
     
    1) Tune in to your feelings (self-awareness). Start by noticing what you
    are angry about and why. Put into words what is making you upset so you can
    act rather than react.
     
    Ask yourself: What is got me angry? What am I feeling and why? You can do
    this either in your mind or out loud, but it needs to be clear and
    specific. For example: "I am really angry at Mom because she wont let me go
    to the party until I clean my room. It is not fair!" Your feeling is anger,
    and you are feeling angry because you might not get to go to the party.
     
    Notice that this is not the same as saying, "Mom is so unfair to me." That
    statement does not identify the specific problem (that you can not go to
    the party until you clean your room) and it does not say how you are
    feeling (angry).
     
    2) Stop and think (self-control). This is where you stop for a minute to
    give yourself time to manage your anger. It is also where you start
    thinking of how you might react - but without reacting yet.
     
    Ask yourself: What can I do? Think of at least three things. For example,
    in this situation you might think:
     
    (a) I could yell at Mom and throw a fit.
    (b) I could clean my room and then ask if I could go to the party.
    (c) I could sneak out to the party anyway.
     
    3) Consider your options (think it through). This is where you think about
    what is likely to result from each of the different reactions you came up
    with.
     
    Ask yourself: What will happen for each one of these options? For example:
     
    (a) Yelling at your mom may get you in worse trouble or even grounded.
     
    (b) Cleaning your room takes work and you may get to the party late (but
    hey, arriving late may add to your mystique). With this option, you get to
    go to the party and your room is clean so you don not have to worry about
    it for a while.
    (c) Sneaking out may seem like a real option in the heat of anger. But when
    you really think it through, it is pretty unlikely you would get away with
    being gone for hours with no one noticing. And when you do get caught -
    look out!
     
    4) Make a decision (pick one of your options). This is where you take
    action by choosing one of the three things you could do. Look at the list
    and pick the one that is likely to be most effective.
     
    Ask yourself: What is my best choice? By the time you have thought it
    through, you are probably past yelling at your mom, which is a knee-jerk
    response. You may have also decided that sneaking out is too risky. Neither
    of these options is likely to get you to the party. So option (b) probably
    seems like the best choice.
     
    Once you choose your solution, then it is time to act.
     
    5) Check your progress. After you have acted and the situation is over,
    spend some time thinking about how it went.
     
    Ask yourself: How did I do? Did things work out as I expected? If not, why
    not? Am I satisfied with the choice I made? Taking some time to reflect on
    how things worked out after it is all over is a very important step. It
    helps you learn about yourself and it allows you to test which
    problem-solving approaches work best in different situations.
     
    Give yourself a pat on the back if the solution you chose worked out well.
    If it did not, go back through the five steps and see if you can figure out
    why.
     
    These five steps are pretty simple when you are calm, but are much tougher
    to work through when you are angry or sad (kind of like in basketball
    practice when making baskets is much easier than in a real game when the
    pressure is on!). So it helps to practice over and over again.
     
    About The Author:Alim has been writing articles online for nearly 3 years.
    Not only does this author specialize in technical writing, but you can also
    check out his latest website on conference room table which reviews and
    lists best conference room furniture, includes used conference table
     
    Article Source:
    articleclick.com<http://www.articleclick.com/Article/The-Five-Step-Approach-to-Managing-Anger/1341836>
     
    *M Junaid Tahir*
    Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/
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    Twitter]<https://twitter.com/JunaidTahir>
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    Junaid Tahir <mjunaidtahir@gmail.com> Nov 20 10:13AM +0400  

    A young man, a student in one of our universities, was one day taking a
    walk with a professor, who was commonly called the students' friend, from
    his kindness to those who waited on his instructions. As they went along,
    they saw lying in the path a pair of old shoes, which they supposed to
    belong to a poor man who was employed in a field close by, and who had
    nearly finished his day's work.
     
    The student turned to the professor, saying: "Let us play the man a trick:
    we will hide his shoes, and conceal ourselves behind those bushes, and wait
    to see his perplexity when he cannot find them."
     
    "My young friend," answered the professor, "we should never amuse ourselves
    at the expense someone. But you are rich, and may give yourself a much
    greater pleasure by means of the poor man. Put a coin into each shoe, and
    then we will hide ourselves and watch how the discovery affects him."****
     
    <http://www.storiesofwisdom.com/images/old-shoes1.jpg><https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOup8gtj9FymX9AftWkHVDlG7D8ZcKNrBtmQJS7g8tykuEsEQf2q8vpB4wKk9z58RhXVgjfbHwFncCI7zREnX42BNM2OwnJH-47TJ0iVlOFsqcfH2W3bnAwkQFo82F2zG28VMk4PxRk9s/s1600/image001-764277.jpg>
    ****
     
    ** **
     
    The student did so, and they both placed themselves behind the bushes close
    by. The poor man soon finished his work, and came across the field to the
    path where he had left his coat and shoes. While putting on his coat he
    slipped his foot into one of his shoes; but feeling something hard, he
    stooped down to feel what it was, and found the coin. Astonishment and
    wonder were seen upon his countenance. He gazed upon the coin, turned it
    round, and looked at it again and again. He then looked around him on all
    sides, but no person was to be seen. He now put the money into his pocket,
    and proceeded to put on the other shoe; but his surprise was doubled on
    finding the other coin. His feelings overcame him; he fell upon his knees,
    looked up to heaven and uttered aloud a fervent thanksgiving, in which he
    spoke of his wife, sick and helpless, and his children without bread, whom
    the timely bounty, from some unknown hand, would save from perishing.
    The student stood there deeply affected, and his eyes filled with tears.
     
    "Now," said the professor, "are you not much better pleased than if you had
    played your intended trick?"
     
    The youth replied, "You have taught me a lesson which I will never forget.
    I feel now the truth of those words, which I never understood before: 'It
    is more blessed to give than to receive.'"
     
    Author unknown, retold by Artin Tellalian
     
    --
     
    *M Junaid Tahir**
    *
    Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/
     
     
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    "(Abdul Mannan) Lion - The prince" <princeoflion@gmail.com> Nov 20 07:15AM +0300  

    Congrats to become a proud father.
     
     
    --
    Lion

     

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