[HM:256341] State of the Airlines today!

State of the

A

irlines today

!

Attendant: Welcome aboard A la Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket? 

Passenger: Sure. 

Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please! 

Passenger: What for? 

Attendant: For telling you where to sit. 

Passenger: But I already knew where to sit. 

Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy. 

Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it. 

Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not? 

Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this. 

Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you? 

Passenger: That would be swell, thanks. 

Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please. 

Passenger: What? 

Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee. 

Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it. 

Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10. 

Passenger: No way! 

Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that. 

Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me? 

Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee. 

Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this. 

Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you? 

Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it? 

Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes. 

Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air? 

Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents. 

Passenger: I don't have   any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar? 

Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go! 

Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar. 

Attendant: Yes, there's a change making fee of 25 cents. 

Passenger: Crying out loud.... All I have left is a lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this? 

Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory!

As shared by

Jaganathanmadhavan

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